A Glimpse of the Path

I haven't written in over a year. 

And here I am nearing the end of 2022 with an absolutist heartbeat. Before the end of the day I hope to have us caught up with one another. 

Counting numerical days is a  facade really to put it bluntly. What I have come to fid is that  the days are being filled with more purpose, disappointment and butterflies. 

I have been so hard on myself when it comes to expressing a little sword, word play. Its a liberating feeling writing again. And I think maybe its that I have been applying myself but carefully; what I am out to do is specific to my nature and Ill do it. So if that means being selective with where I want to work come next year? I will. 

I wont subject myself to my own demise, demise my own story? That would be childish the Yaeesh. 

I think what I DO need to make clear here is that my writing is not normative, the wonders of the mind should not be restricted to the conventional scripture of expressionist truth.  Use of highly descriptive and prescriptive structure.. 

Okay so I have now changed keyboards and their is the multispecies nature of a melodic keyboard that escapes the speakers. As the sun rises, my heart is finding an impatient beat, and the restlessness is not okay. I need to remind myself and hold to the grounding of my root and third. 

Where am I right, it isnt just here. I have been there with myself this entire year, I think its safe to say there was a lurking me behind. The two angels on each shoulder got the best of one another and that was okay, I found what I could of only wished for and that I am so grateful for. The ability to know that there is hope, there is love and that who I am; im enough.  Okay I was terribly fucking sad about not being able to study this year, it was a gut wrenching pain that still sits as i type here so freely with the sound of the piano at the back, my fingers masking their slay. and to an end the song goes. 

Ace, It was only in Feb when it started. Lets see, my year was attuned to University still, I still have that knowing of what one cannot loose sight of? 

especially me. i wear and loose my glasses all day in my bed sheets but proudly I have them on now here, writing? Where is my tonality? Imagine, If I were to be assigned to do a journalistic piece,  The work comes down to the mediation of our planet. 

As sand moves, so does time but how many of us live on the stage, front stage and not backstage? 

I think you Goffyman have really been throwing that around at me because yes there is a lot of exppsure that I am throwing out, but i am keeping a balance between the reality of the front, what will be front until i fok off. 

and the back, where my heart and soul lies. 

? do i make sense to myself ? 

do i wish to play the game as it has been live mindlessly when life needs a little mindfullness.

im going to go for a quick ciggarette and then ill be back - brain storm (YOU DONT NEED TO HAVE THE FORMAT RIGHT, PERFECTLY RIGHT AWAY RIGHT. let what come. cpme and craft to perfection and obsurity

let it be known that the story of cloud atlas has so much meaning, the story of Robert. See, you can path your destiny and dont take advtange of that blessing. To see you gifts is not to let them empower you but know its true meaning of empowerment for outside myself. I really havent